Personal Legends

I believe I have already started on my way to live out my Personal Legend.  Part of my struggle in life has been not knowing what I want to do in life.  For the longest time, I didn't know what I had to offer. This made it hard for me to go on through day to day events.  Today, knowing who I want to be, what type of member I want to be in society, and knowing my strengths in order to live out who I want to be is helpful.

I believe my Personal Legend is to truly help people.  The caveat of knowing about knowing what my Personal Legend is that more will be revealed to me.  I say this because I do not yet know how exactly I want to help, and who.  But I do know, based on my experience, the way I articulate things, and the way I communicate and connect with people, it is my mission to be helpful and useful to the universe and its inhabitants.  The most convincing reason I know this is my life's mission is because of the way it makes me feel when I do something for someone else.

I want to be remembered as someone who was altruistic and did things for other people.  While I do not thrive off of other peoples approval nor seek it, if someone were to think about me after I pass on, I want them to think about how I always treated others with dignity and respect, always offering to give them what I had.  I want to leave that type of mentality and way of life as an example for my children and grandchildren.

A man who always believed he could,
Even when no one else thought he would.
They say "for it is by self-forgetting that one finds",
This was a gentleman that was ever-so kind.
Thinking rarely of himself and frequently of others,
He looked at God's children as his sisters and brothers.
He seemed to always give so freely of himself,
He often put his own wants and needs on the shelf.
While going through struggles in his earlier years,
He overcame all, conquering his fears.
Yet he stayed humble, selfless and free,
For he believed that these principles were definitely key.
To his friends and family he would always lend,
Because he believed that relationships were all we had in the end.
We will miss his presence every day,
But in his heart he is here to stay.

Gratitude

This is a great topic for me to write about right now - gratitude.  I have so much to be grateful for, and more specifically, the post will talk about gratitude concerning past job experience.  I had a job at a treatment center in Tucson, Arizona, working with adolescent boys through their journeys in drug addiction and abuse.

While it was a hard job that drained me emotionally, it opened me up to having future opportunities.  For example, the other day, someone who was aware of my work in treatment just asked me for my resume because she wants to recommend me to several rehabs in the New England area.  This was huge for me, and something that I couldn't have the opportunity to have had I not done what I did in the past.  Therefore, I definitely am grateful for it.

I definitely found it hard to be grateful in the moment at my job.  This is because, like I said, it was very emotionally draining, and I definitely butted heads with my superiors.  However, the experience was obviously helpful and useful for my future.

Writing raps for me is a breeze,

All I need to do is kick back,

Relax, and tell you how I do.

After it's over, you'll ask me how I do it,

I'm free for interviews, but try and copy or ya through.

No ones got the passion I got about this rappin stuff,

Everybody's frontin', tryna act all tough.

No one's got the knowledge or the skill when it comes to ballin like me,

Catch me at Peter's Park in South End swishin threes.

Then ask me about any baller,

What team, how many rings, how many points a game,

I say "psh, I can name everyone in the Hall of Fame".

I've got the intellect,

I've got the drive,

Everything I've got,

Is everything ya strive for,

Sorry for leavin this killer raps at your front door.

Who's got more style than "Rick the Ruler" Slick Rick?

An all-time favorite rap duo of mine, called Smif-N-Wessun.  Their album "Dah Shinin'" is known as one of the best hip-hop albums of all time.

Short Stories

My Future

In my future, I'd like to be a business owner.  I just don't know what type of business yet.  I'd like to live in a big city like Boston or New York, but a place I haven't lived yet.  I wouldn't be opposed to living anywhere around the world in a big city.  My ideal financial situation would be making enough money to take care of my family comfortably and letting them live, as well as myself, a life of luxury.  This is how I grew up and I don't want anything less for myself when I grow up.  I would want a family of 4 or 5 (myself, my wife, and two or three kids).

Change of Fate

A change of fate that could happen could be me finding myself in a tight financial predicament.  My business is struggling and I find myself facing family struggles because I feel stress that I am not doing well in my job.  I then come across a friend from high school that has a business TV show and would like me to come on the air.

Alternative Future

I have my own television show talking about business.  I'm making more money than owning a business.  I interview some of the most famous business men such as Donald Trump and others.  I travel all over the world and have a way different social life because of my different job.


Grace

Life can be hard,
Life can get tough.
I can over-complicate things,
And make life unmanageable for myself.
When I rely on my friends,
My family,
And my spirit,
I can deal with life on life's terms,
With dignity and grace.
The universe is looking out for me,
If I look out for myself.
Doing what I need to do,
With grace and power,
Opens me up to the universes rewards.

Affirming the Future

All of these images are of significant importance to me.  The images include travel, healthy living, and spirituality.  These are all staples of my living and things that I would like to make more important in my life.  For instance, I struggle with healthy living, so my intention with making this visual board too is that it focuses healthy living in my life more.  I had a hard time due to image formatting to make the board look more artsy.

Poem:

I see myself with much success,

Many experiences,

Many friends,

Flowing in and out of my life.

I see myself shaped by the experiences I have had,

Recollecting on my past.

Passion

Passion at its finest

I am passionate about many things.  I believe everything I take up as an interest and a hobby I am passionate about.  I find that taking up my interests and hobbies with passion is the best way to go about partaking in these things.  Something I am really passionate about is basketball.  More than playing the sport though, I am interested in the game itself, the statistics, the numbers, and just the sport as a whole.

I have often thought about taking my passion for basketball and making it into a career.  I could certainly look into getting into sports management and working in the front office for a team.  I could also be a scout that finds talent at either the college or professional level.

The population I would be serving would be obviously either those looking to get recruited into colleges or onto a professional basketball team.  The passion for my work would serve the team that I would be working for.  Because of my passion for the game and for the work I would be doing, I'd spend a lot of time and effort doing the best job I could, and this would be a huge asset to whoever I would serve.

Wes Unseld playing in Washington, D.C. during the 1968-1969 season.  One of my favorite players

Following the lead of my passion,
Could take me to endless heights.
Without passion in life,
I don't have much worthwhile.
Taking what I love,
And making it an important part of my life,
is important to me.
Doing what I love,
Dancing with my passion,
Is something I must do,
To maintain peace,
As well as happiness.
Staying true to what I love,
And following my dreams,
Is something I will always do.

Alchemist

 Paulo Coehlo's The Alchemist is an awesome book.  In essense, the book is about a young boy named Santiago that goes on a quest for treasure that he had dreamed about.  His journey was shaped by the people he met and the things he learned along the way.  By the time Santiago had reached the treasure, he was a changed man, with a different outlook on life and the world around him.  He learned a lot about alchemy, he learned about different walks of life, and he also learned a little about love.  All of the experiences he had re-shaped his entire life.

The part of the book that really hit me was when Santiago met Fatima at the well in the oasis, on his way to the Pyramids.  This probably has to be that I'm a sucker for a good love story, so I found myself paying extra attention.  In addition, there were some ideas that were introduced when Santiago and Fatima spent time together that were introduced for the first time in the book.  The ideas of love without ownership and true love were something introduced at this time.  These were ideas that really made me focus in on the reading.

Overall, I really like the book.  It's many themes and and symbolism kept me interested throughout the reading.  The character development of Santiago throughout the book is awesome too.  Watching him transform and learn was inspiring.  He is an admirable character from the get-go, and watching him grow was awesome.

I'd recommend this book to anyone that wishes to have a good read.  I think it's a good read for anyone, because it is easy to follow along and can keep a reader interested.

An interesting book indeed,

Containing a lot of symbolism.

Lessons can be learned,

As long as you pay close attention.

Santiago was an admirable character.

He showed desirable personality traits.

He showed willingness,

He showed strength.

He showed courage,

He showed love.

His openness to life and all of its lessons,

Is an example for all of us.

He persevered when times were rough,

He showed faith during times of tribulation.

He was open to getting more in touch with himself,

And getting more in touch with his spirit.

He let the people around him mold him, 

And make him into a better man.

He triumphed at the end,

Finding his treasure,

And discovered that God had a funny sense of humor.

Gratitude

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder

Gratitude is something I did not get a handle on until very recently in my life.  It was something for the longest time I was not able to feel.  It wasn't until I was stripped of everything that I placed meaning on in my life and then slowly started getting those things back that I became grateful for them.  It is something to even have a good handle on today, because when I get so consumed by everything that is going on around me, I often forget what is important and to be grateful that I have it.

I tend to take for granted the friendships and relationships that I have.  Because they are such a constant in my life, I often forget to honor them, and act selfishly and inconsiderately of their feelings and struggles.  It is important for me to remember what type of person I am capable of being - selfish, inconsiderate and dishonest, leading me to not have the relationships I have today.  I have the relationships and friends today because of the way I carry myself in day to day life.  I honor myself, honor others, and act selflessly.

I am really grateful for the people in my life.  Notably my friends and family.  They are always there for me through my ups and downs.  I feel like I can be honest with them and open up to them so that I can properly be helped.  I couldn't imagine a life without people in my life that could help carry me through hardships.

I believe there is a lot I could soak in from life.  Something I can better soak up is the attributes of others around me.  I often see others doing great things and doing things that are helpful for them and help them achieve in life that I lack in my own life.  For example, a trait I admire in my father is his organization, diligence, and overall responsibility he has regarding getting things done like paying bills, doing his laundry, etc.  These are things that I struggle with on my own.  I often keep to myself and try and figure these things out on my own instead of trying to get help and copying what my father does to fix my issues with this.

Haiku 1:

Having my dog is,

a simple joy in my life.

Continual peace.

Haiku 2:

Living on my own,

My first time in solitude,

Peace and silence.

Haiku 3:

Unfortunately,

This world is run by money,

Something I lack.

Haiku 4:

A bed to sleep on,

Much food in my stomach,

Taken care of.

Haiku 5:

Not much to ask for,

Not much to complain about,

I am looked after.

Fears, Assets, Obstacles

I have many fears, assets, and obstacles within myself.  In this post, I will mainly expand upon and discuss my fears in detail, because it is my fears that are my obstacles, and the fears are what gets in the way of ultimate success, freedom and happiness within myself.  Before I start though, I would like to say that I do acknowledge my assets.  I am an honest, mature, selfless, empathetic person, and I play my strengths to help me and help others in day to day life.  With that said, I will discuss my fears.

One fear of mine, that really gets in the way of my success is financial fear.  I am always insecure about my financial well-being.  This dives way deeper than the fact that I am always broke.  Because I do not know what I want to do as far as work after I graduate school, this plays into my financial fears.  If I don't have a occupation, how am I going to be comfortable as a self-supporting adult?  How am I going to provide for a family?

How I work with this fear is simple but not easy.  I stay active in the solution:  I continue to look for work, and I go to school, and eventually I'll figure out what I want to do for work when I grow up.  Also, I stay faithful to the God of my understanding that I will continue to be taken care of like I have been all these years.

Fear, it takes away my cheer,
It sits in the driving seat, insisting it will steer.
It's hard not falling victim to fear,
I have a sense for when it is near.
It pops up everywhere, touches everything,
And all it does is leave you with a nasty sting.
Fear was my slave master for my years,
Making me feel sadness and shed tears.
Faith is the only thing that can conquer fear,
The only thing that will make you clear.
Living by faith will set you free,
From the fear that prohibits you from glee.
Fear lives in your head and preys on you when you're weak,
Fear is the reason you sometimes feel so meek.
So don't live in fear, live in faith,
And then all your dreams, you can freely chase.

Free Write

This has been a pretty good week for me.  I have felt happy and healthy all week.  I have maintained my spiritual well-being and just feel well.  I have been productive, getting things done that have needed to get done since I have moved to Cambridge from Tucson.

In the present moment, I am focusing on school.  It wasn't until recently I realized that school and my education was the key to my future success.  I didn't care about my future success and happiness until very recently in my life.  This has been the main focus of my life.

I also am really working on showing up and being a good person in all of the relationships that I am in. Whether it is with my girlfriend, my best friend, or with my parents, I just want to be the best person in that relationship that I possibly can be.  I believe strongly that all we have are relationships.  Relationships and connecting with others are what keeps me happy and whole.

When I stop, I notice...

When I stop, I notice the clutter around my room.

I notice the unfinished paint job on my bedroom walls.

I notice posters of my past heroes, from Lebron James to Bob Marley.

I see trophies of past achievements.

As I lay in my bed, I notice my dog right next to me,

Waiting loyally by my side until I finish doing what I am doing.

I hear him breathing peacefully,

And at the same time,

I hear the rustling of the leaves outside as cars pass.

I also hear gusts of wind right outside my window.

As I look around,

Old memories come up for me.

Childhood and teenage memories,

For I am in the room I slept in when I was little.

I think back to the many nights of I did the same thing I am doing right now,

Deep, deep thought,

Listening to music,

Laughing with friends.

I am at peace in the present moment,

Something I am grateful for.

Blessing in Disguise

          My life has seemed to be filled with hardships that felt like the worst thing and then wound up being something that made me stronger once I have gotten through it.  I've been through things that felt impossible to get through, but I got through them somehow, and learned things I couldn't have possibly learned had I not been through those experiences.  The most powerful educational experiences I have had in my life have been these types of experiences, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.  These are what a lot of people call "a blessing in disguise".  They are the most beautiful things, in a distorted, backwards type of way.  The most notable experience that I've had was when I went to treatment for my drug and alcohol abuse for 20 months.

          When I first went to treatment for my drug and alcohol abuse, I faced the largest internal conflict I have ever had to deal with.  I felt so much pain - from the guilt I felt of hurting others, to the anger of my situation.  I hated where I was.  I wanted to be free and go about doing what I was doing.  I was depressed, resentful, sad, confused, and ultimately miserable.  It was the most challenging experience of my life.

           As time went on, my perspective was able to change.  I was able to realize how beneficial the experience was for me.  Not only was I able to get clean and sober, but I was about to learn and find out things about myself that I could have not learned had I not been through this.  I came to the realization that all the pain and hardship that I had been through was ultimately the best thing for me, and something that made my life ever more fruitful and whole.  This is the main experience I have had that has been a blessing in disguise.

A mysterious science,

Been practiced for millennia.

Its traditions and origin are deeply enriched in all culture.

Often mistaken as dealing only with metal,

But it goes far beyond.

It inspires culture,

It inspires self-knowledge.

It inspires our creative minds,

It inspires our inner selves.

It gets easily mistaken,

As something that it is not.

It is something that truly interests me,

Something that I want to be educated more on.

Experience

          I've been fortunate enough to have experienced many things that have really changed me and molded me into the man that I am today.  Some grueling, painful, and not easy to go through, but those, in my experience, have been the ones that have shaped me and defined me the most.  With courage, faith, and reliance upon those that care about me, I have gotten through some of those hard experiences, better than I ever was before.  Others, have just been beautiful and unique, ones that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  Whether it has been a relationship, or doing something for someone else, these experiences have also helped me become the person I am today.  Everything I do, everything that has happened in the past, is the reason I am what I am today.

       
          The first experience that really changed me and helped me turn into the person that I am today is the experience I had doing service work for some orphanages in Cusco, Peru.  I did this when I was seventeen years old.  Having some experience with doing service work for the likes of homeless people and people with disabilities, I thought I knew what I was getting into.  I was mistaken.  The poverty element that was involved made this way more powerful.  These little kids that I was taking care of really had nothing.  It really made me feel something profound within myself that I hadn't felt before.  I really learned the meaning of gratitude after this experience.

          Another experience I had that really taught me something about myself was working at a treatment center for drug and alcohol abuse.  This was a powerful experience for me because it gave me a different perspective on my own experience as a young man that went to treatment for the same thing myself.  It really taught me about the inner empathy I have for others and it taught me how to better tap into that inner strength of mine.  It also taught me lessons in patience and tolerance.

          The last and most powerful experience for me in my life was going to treatment for drug and alcohol abuse myself.  It taught me so much.  It opened my eyes up to the years of damage I had caused in my family and to others around me.  I learned the tools how to move forward and make all of my past wrongs right.  It taught me a lot about myself that I had never known before, like channelling my anger, understanding and accepting the world and its people around me, and much more.

A Little Hip-Hop

My boss was an idiot,

And his boss was too.

Brain cells, apparently he had too few.

Over time it seemed like all my coworkers 'round me,

Started kissin' ass and suckin' up for the bread and the cheese.

It was frustrating to see my brothers turn phony.

Worked all day and all night and what did I get?

A boss that never ceased to breathe down my neck.

Wasn't getting anything worth while, especially respect,

I found myself screaming and yelling what the heck.

Seeing a place turn from something you love to something you hate,

Wasn't something that felt all too great.

Toward the end of my time my old friend was at the door named fate,

Letting me know it was time to get strong,

Time to move on,

Do something you thought you couldn't do,

Make it happen make a dream come true.

I opened a new chapter to my book,

Didn't even look back to take a second look.

I left all those fools behind!

         

Nas

Slick Rick, A.K.A. Rick the Ruler

Empathy: My Power

          

          When I was growing up, it wasn't about being good at something, rather it was about being good at something, or having a talent that I was actually proud of.  For instance, being that I started at age three, by the time I was nine or ten years old, I was an accomplished violinist.  I had a good ear and a natural ability to produce an extraordinary sound with my violin.  However, I always took a lot of slack for being good at the violin.  I would hear things like "You're a sissy" or "Violin is for girls".  At this time in my life, I couldn't help but take what these people were saying to heart.  I turned the envy and insecurity of others into a truth in my own mind.  I believed what they said, and it was at this point I was left with nothing that I did to actually feel proud of about myself.  As I advanced in life and entered my teenage years, I started trying to discover myself, and find these things.  I was looking in all the wrong places and at age sixteen I found myself stripped of any self-respect and self-esteem I had left.  Because of my poor choices, I found myself face down in the gutter, with even less to show for myself.  When I got sober, I started to find out about myself.  With the help of my friends and mentors, I found that I did have a gift, or "power" all along.  While not unique to me, I found that I had the ability to really feel what others were feeling with them - to connect, and make someone else really feel loved, because for some reason, I was able to feel their adversity and pain.  I would consider this to be a true power and gift of mine.

          I don't believe there was a time where I lost this power.  The reason for this is because I do not believe I even knew I had this power until I got clean and sober.  What is interesting about my experience with my power is I do not believe if I would have been able to even realize that it was there had I not gone through all the suffering and pain that I went through myself.  My personal experience through hell and back has been of the utmost importance to harness and strengthen this inner power I have.

          There are just a few simple things I do to utilize my power of empathy.  Firstly, and most importantly, is I keep a connection with a Creator of my understanding.  This entails much prayer and meditation.  In addition, it is important for me to keep in touch with Gods' children.  By connecting with another human being, having intimate conversations, I get to use the gift I was given.

When I was a Limitless Child

When I was a limitless child, I let my brain limit me.

My mind blocked me off from the freedom and possibility of my youth.

Everything I did wasn't good enough,

I could never please you.

I couldn't acknowledge and appreciate my inner strengths,

For all I heard were the things that made me weak or insignificant.

After much trial and tribulation,

I was able to let go of all the pain and delusion I suffered from as a child.

Opening my mind up allowed me to embark on the journey of self-discovery.

I can now partake in my own life,

Which means that I can partake in yours.

Recognizing my inner beauty has in turn allowed me to recognize the beauty of the world and it's people.

I cannot take the credit for this ability,

For it was those that already harnessed their own strengths helped me harness mine,

And for that,

I am truly grateful.

My First Mentor

A mentor and idol of mine, Dr. Bob (co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous)

           My biggest mentor was the man who really helped me get in touch with the spiritual way of life that I currently live.  His name is Kevin.  Due to some unfortunate circumstances in his life, he wound up losing sight of the life he taught me how to live.  While he is currently trying to get back on his feet, it doesn't take away any of the help he gave me when we were close.  I'm writing this in his honor.  While we don't talk anymore because of circumstance and the decisions he has made, everything he did for me was life-saving and shouldn't be downplayed in the slightest.

          Kevin made me realize the true importance of humility.  He engraved into my head, time and time again, the idea that not only am I no better than any other human being, but I am no worse either.  He taught me the true meaning of humility, which is the accurate assessment of myself or my situation.  He taught me the true meaning of love.  He showed up time and time again when I felt rejected, when I felt self-loathing, when I felt disconnected, and when I felt angry.  He didn't sulk with me, rather he always had me look at whatever situation I was in with a sense of responsibility, forcing me to look constantly at where I could've done better, and how I was responsible for feeling the way I was feeling.  This is huge for me even today, because that's all that really matters - I can't dwell on someones behavior and responsibility in a situation, I can only look at, and change my own.

          When Kevin and I were first hanging out, I was self-obsessed, dishonest, and afraid to look the world in the eye.  He was the inspiration and example that helped me turn into a man of dignity, grace, and honor.  What really helped me connect to him at first was the fact that he related to the way I was living and the way I felt for a long time, but someone that he referred to as his mentor helped him turn his life around and turn into the man that he was today.  He was only 2 years older than me, yet he carried himself like a man way beyond his years.  He was intellectual, logical, yet so in touch with his inner self and inner spirit.  It was nothing short of admirable.  The biggest piece of Kevin that is now a part of me is that humility idea that he reinforced with me so many times.  While I often struggle with staying humble, because of him, I am more easily aware of where my ego is out of line, or where I am acting self-righteous or condescending.

Poem

You picked me up and helped me to my feet,

And taught me how to not like and not cheat.

If it weren't for you I wouldn't be who I am today,

From all you taught me I will try not to stray.

Thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart,

I promise everything I have learned will not be forgot.

Acrostic Poem and Affirmation

"I trust myself."

(I)t

(T)ook some time

(R)esponsible I was not

(U)nder attack by impulsivity

(S)ent me to the depth of pain

(T)ried my hardest to change

(M)assive changes came to be one day

(Y)ou wouldn’t recognize me

(S)elling myself short no more

(E)ndless opportunities for me to achieve

(L)iving life with a new sense of freedom

(F)inally I believe in me.

Graduating High School

Who am I

My name is Andrew George Sophocleous.  I'm 19 years old from Long Island, New York.  I was born in June and that's my favorite month of the year.  I've lived what I would call a fulfilled life up until now, and my underlying goal is to continue to live a life with fulfillment.  There actually is a lot to me!

I grew up in a household with both my mother and my father.  I have one brother named Stefan.  He's four years older than me, but he wasn't raised in my house with me because he has mental disabilities.  He has been in an assisted living home or a residential program his whole life.  This was a big struggle growing up for me.

I was always musically adept, and played music from the age of three until I was thirteen.  I then started drifting off and stopped doing much of anything.  I entered a dark place in my life at that age, struggling a lot with drug and alcohol addiction.

At age 16, I moved to Tucson, Arizona to get clean and sober.  I moved out there all on my own, living totally independent from my parents.  That was on December 5th, 2010, and I have been sober from drugs and alcohol ever since.  I've had the opportunity since then to help other adolescents with drug and alcohol abuse, for the best education on addiction can't be found in a textbook, but rather in personal experience.  I lived there until a couple of weeks ago, and then decided that I wanted to move back east and start new.  I'm really happy with where I am at in life and have to be grateful every day for everything I have.

I am now going to school and trying to build my future up to be bright and filled with happiness and additional experience.

My dog Dingo when he was a puppy

"For it is by self-forgetting that one finds."

- St. Francis of Assisi