Experience

          I've been fortunate enough to have experienced many things that have really changed me and molded me into the man that I am today.  Some grueling, painful, and not easy to go through, but those, in my experience, have been the ones that have shaped me and defined me the most.  With courage, faith, and reliance upon those that care about me, I have gotten through some of those hard experiences, better than I ever was before.  Others, have just been beautiful and unique, ones that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  Whether it has been a relationship, or doing something for someone else, these experiences have also helped me become the person I am today.  Everything I do, everything that has happened in the past, is the reason I am what I am today.

       
          The first experience that really changed me and helped me turn into the person that I am today is the experience I had doing service work for some orphanages in Cusco, Peru.  I did this when I was seventeen years old.  Having some experience with doing service work for the likes of homeless people and people with disabilities, I thought I knew what I was getting into.  I was mistaken.  The poverty element that was involved made this way more powerful.  These little kids that I was taking care of really had nothing.  It really made me feel something profound within myself that I hadn't felt before.  I really learned the meaning of gratitude after this experience.

          Another experience I had that really taught me something about myself was working at a treatment center for drug and alcohol abuse.  This was a powerful experience for me because it gave me a different perspective on my own experience as a young man that went to treatment for the same thing myself.  It really taught me about the inner empathy I have for others and it taught me how to better tap into that inner strength of mine.  It also taught me lessons in patience and tolerance.

          The last and most powerful experience for me in my life was going to treatment for drug and alcohol abuse myself.  It taught me so much.  It opened my eyes up to the years of damage I had caused in my family and to others around me.  I learned the tools how to move forward and make all of my past wrongs right.  It taught me a lot about myself that I had never known before, like channelling my anger, understanding and accepting the world and its people around me, and much more.

A Little Hip-Hop

My boss was an idiot,

And his boss was too.

Brain cells, apparently he had too few.

Over time it seemed like all my coworkers 'round me,

Started kissin' ass and suckin' up for the bread and the cheese.

It was frustrating to see my brothers turn phony.

Worked all day and all night and what did I get?

A boss that never ceased to breathe down my neck.

Wasn't getting anything worth while, especially respect,

I found myself screaming and yelling what the heck.

Seeing a place turn from something you love to something you hate,

Wasn't something that felt all too great.

Toward the end of my time my old friend was at the door named fate,

Letting me know it was time to get strong,

Time to move on,

Do something you thought you couldn't do,

Make it happen make a dream come true.

I opened a new chapter to my book,

Didn't even look back to take a second look.

I left all those fools behind!

         

Nas

Slick Rick, A.K.A. Rick the Ruler

Empathy: My Power

          

          When I was growing up, it wasn't about being good at something, rather it was about being good at something, or having a talent that I was actually proud of.  For instance, being that I started at age three, by the time I was nine or ten years old, I was an accomplished violinist.  I had a good ear and a natural ability to produce an extraordinary sound with my violin.  However, I always took a lot of slack for being good at the violin.  I would hear things like "You're a sissy" or "Violin is for girls".  At this time in my life, I couldn't help but take what these people were saying to heart.  I turned the envy and insecurity of others into a truth in my own mind.  I believed what they said, and it was at this point I was left with nothing that I did to actually feel proud of about myself.  As I advanced in life and entered my teenage years, I started trying to discover myself, and find these things.  I was looking in all the wrong places and at age sixteen I found myself stripped of any self-respect and self-esteem I had left.  Because of my poor choices, I found myself face down in the gutter, with even less to show for myself.  When I got sober, I started to find out about myself.  With the help of my friends and mentors, I found that I did have a gift, or "power" all along.  While not unique to me, I found that I had the ability to really feel what others were feeling with them - to connect, and make someone else really feel loved, because for some reason, I was able to feel their adversity and pain.  I would consider this to be a true power and gift of mine.

          I don't believe there was a time where I lost this power.  The reason for this is because I do not believe I even knew I had this power until I got clean and sober.  What is interesting about my experience with my power is I do not believe if I would have been able to even realize that it was there had I not gone through all the suffering and pain that I went through myself.  My personal experience through hell and back has been of the utmost importance to harness and strengthen this inner power I have.

          There are just a few simple things I do to utilize my power of empathy.  Firstly, and most importantly, is I keep a connection with a Creator of my understanding.  This entails much prayer and meditation.  In addition, it is important for me to keep in touch with Gods' children.  By connecting with another human being, having intimate conversations, I get to use the gift I was given.

When I was a Limitless Child

When I was a limitless child, I let my brain limit me.

My mind blocked me off from the freedom and possibility of my youth.

Everything I did wasn't good enough,

I could never please you.

I couldn't acknowledge and appreciate my inner strengths,

For all I heard were the things that made me weak or insignificant.

After much trial and tribulation,

I was able to let go of all the pain and delusion I suffered from as a child.

Opening my mind up allowed me to embark on the journey of self-discovery.

I can now partake in my own life,

Which means that I can partake in yours.

Recognizing my inner beauty has in turn allowed me to recognize the beauty of the world and it's people.

I cannot take the credit for this ability,

For it was those that already harnessed their own strengths helped me harness mine,

And for that,

I am truly grateful.

My First Mentor

A mentor and idol of mine, Dr. Bob (co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous)

           My biggest mentor was the man who really helped me get in touch with the spiritual way of life that I currently live.  His name is Kevin.  Due to some unfortunate circumstances in his life, he wound up losing sight of the life he taught me how to live.  While he is currently trying to get back on his feet, it doesn't take away any of the help he gave me when we were close.  I'm writing this in his honor.  While we don't talk anymore because of circumstance and the decisions he has made, everything he did for me was life-saving and shouldn't be downplayed in the slightest.

          Kevin made me realize the true importance of humility.  He engraved into my head, time and time again, the idea that not only am I no better than any other human being, but I am no worse either.  He taught me the true meaning of humility, which is the accurate assessment of myself or my situation.  He taught me the true meaning of love.  He showed up time and time again when I felt rejected, when I felt self-loathing, when I felt disconnected, and when I felt angry.  He didn't sulk with me, rather he always had me look at whatever situation I was in with a sense of responsibility, forcing me to look constantly at where I could've done better, and how I was responsible for feeling the way I was feeling.  This is huge for me even today, because that's all that really matters - I can't dwell on someones behavior and responsibility in a situation, I can only look at, and change my own.

          When Kevin and I were first hanging out, I was self-obsessed, dishonest, and afraid to look the world in the eye.  He was the inspiration and example that helped me turn into a man of dignity, grace, and honor.  What really helped me connect to him at first was the fact that he related to the way I was living and the way I felt for a long time, but someone that he referred to as his mentor helped him turn his life around and turn into the man that he was today.  He was only 2 years older than me, yet he carried himself like a man way beyond his years.  He was intellectual, logical, yet so in touch with his inner self and inner spirit.  It was nothing short of admirable.  The biggest piece of Kevin that is now a part of me is that humility idea that he reinforced with me so many times.  While I often struggle with staying humble, because of him, I am more easily aware of where my ego is out of line, or where I am acting self-righteous or condescending.

Poem

You picked me up and helped me to my feet,

And taught me how to not like and not cheat.

If it weren't for you I wouldn't be who I am today,

From all you taught me I will try not to stray.

Thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart,

I promise everything I have learned will not be forgot.

Acrostic Poem and Affirmation

"I trust myself."

(I)t

(T)ook some time

(R)esponsible I was not

(U)nder attack by impulsivity

(S)ent me to the depth of pain

(T)ried my hardest to change

(M)assive changes came to be one day

(Y)ou wouldn’t recognize me

(S)elling myself short no more

(E)ndless opportunities for me to achieve

(L)iving life with a new sense of freedom

(F)inally I believe in me.

Graduating High School

Who am I

My name is Andrew George Sophocleous.  I'm 19 years old from Long Island, New York.  I was born in June and that's my favorite month of the year.  I've lived what I would call a fulfilled life up until now, and my underlying goal is to continue to live a life with fulfillment.  There actually is a lot to me!

I grew up in a household with both my mother and my father.  I have one brother named Stefan.  He's four years older than me, but he wasn't raised in my house with me because he has mental disabilities.  He has been in an assisted living home or a residential program his whole life.  This was a big struggle growing up for me.

I was always musically adept, and played music from the age of three until I was thirteen.  I then started drifting off and stopped doing much of anything.  I entered a dark place in my life at that age, struggling a lot with drug and alcohol addiction.

At age 16, I moved to Tucson, Arizona to get clean and sober.  I moved out there all on my own, living totally independent from my parents.  That was on December 5th, 2010, and I have been sober from drugs and alcohol ever since.  I've had the opportunity since then to help other adolescents with drug and alcohol abuse, for the best education on addiction can't be found in a textbook, but rather in personal experience.  I lived there until a couple of weeks ago, and then decided that I wanted to move back east and start new.  I'm really happy with where I am at in life and have to be grateful every day for everything I have.

I am now going to school and trying to build my future up to be bright and filled with happiness and additional experience.

My dog Dingo when he was a puppy

"For it is by self-forgetting that one finds."

- St. Francis of Assisi